[Data's Save Files]
FILE-13
[All-Against-All-Odds / Good, Bad, or Ugly?]

"A mysterious entity under the alleged psuedonym of SpeaK, it is unclear exactly as to what his motives are.

He has a fascination for sweet foods, hence why he's nicknamed the 'sweet tooth maniac.' Being a ruthless and vengeful individual, SpeaK is known to have taken one's life merely to cut a cake. Studies also say that he had also taken thousands of summer trips on a plane to Odessa, where he developed a taste for the local delicacies and traditional Ukrainian foods.

In battle, he wields a knife, and only a knife. He can get very close to people, and instantly kill them with even a single stab to the abdomen. He may either trick you into playing ball with him (which he actually got injured over once), or he'll fuck you up completely. The identity of SpeaK still remains a mystery, even with that huge hood over his face. But remain cautious, as he might be standing behind you 40 seconds by now (Fazik)."

On August 27, 2020, an accursed 3GP video file simply titled "Wandofuck" has ended up spreading to many PCs of most kinds, which certain antivirus programs weren't able to detect as being potentially malicious. It is said to be downloaded from chomikuj.pl, yet its temporary presence was powerful to the point where video subtitles suddenly became a thing on a certain channel as the file happened to be uploaded there; with the combined forces of deities Aegi and Sub, the subtitles have heavily associated with the channel to the point where it's part of the video's legacy. Surely, a zomik wouldn't be able to achieve such. According to the Fazik (basically our Encyclopedia Britannica in this universe), said file seems to originate from an interaction with chomikuj.pl users emilfiat and Maxchomik124, as well as the semi-fabled "nazwa_pliku.jpg" file which probably barely has anything to do with the incident. The PCs that were affected would later be bricked somehow, aside from one.

So wandofuck does that have anything to do with the above excerpt? Well, considering it's what shaped up the chaotic style and nature of aforementioned channel's current state, it also happens to be the origin of our 'antiheroes' as well as many other sources that were introduced. Their (nick)names are SpeaK and Chuch Norris, and they are a common sight around here; a pattern we've noticed with them is how they protect the good from evil, at least that's what we've seen and heard. They do not appear to be related to the events that unfolded in the Great Mudkip War, but they certainly play a major role in it, seeing that they defeated the Mango Messiah in the past. In fact, they were Data's first targets, before we've resorted to their efforts as well; Al Sneed, the Mudkip Army, and a few many others are the true roots of evil here.

We barely have any background information about the two, but we will give a summary of their actions here. Though SpeaK may be lesser known, he's managed to hack Soulja Boy's Twitch stream within the first core, kill what seems to be the same person -- a la Spartan Mudkip (see FILE-08) -- with his own knife, and potentially more of these kind of actions. Chuch Norris, on the other hand, is likely an impersonator associated with Tamzarian's business. Using only a gun to shoot people dead, he's likely of the 'poor' kind and just so happens to be a full-fledged hero with SpeaK; killing off GodTube (probably) and Walter ":wipedownthis:" White in order for them to check his blingage, we assume. Where do they get their powers from, though? Maybe it was Schraubzieris and his 'Etwas Saltz' that fueled their power? Maybe it was Bimmy (see FILE-06) that could've been the one to spread Wandofuck everywhere, thus making our antiheroes? Maybe it was the Morsu Ring VHS tape (don't ask)? Maybe it was their mamas from Odessa? Who knows at this point, aside from maybe Soulja Boy? That's all we could ever get out of our limited knowledge of them, seeing that Soulja is likely a deity to be reckoned with.

Actually, maybe all of that is bogus. But we know for sure that they don't seem like heroes at all, since Chuch works for Chuck and SpeaK wants to stop Data once and for all. But they're not really villains either. What do our readers think? Are they good, bad, or ugly? Do they deserve the death penalty, or do they get a pass and a promotion? Will they try to protect us from the forces of evil or are they just too busy with their own problems? Either way, we don't see them ever working for us, and as such are banned from visiting our faculty. We don't apologize, and we don't find 'Chuch' Norris jokes funny anyway. We like making fun of a certain Jimmy, though.

[Video footage: youtu.be/rEzMLzEIPSY, youtu.be/wt7gQSochA8]
[Saved by: Data]
[Archived by: Biffy J.]